Marie Curie's Secret Diary
April 20, 1902
Today Pierre and I created radium chloride. I guess that was pretty
fun. Pierre is pretty happy about it and maybe we'll get an award. I
would be OK with that.
April 21, 1902
I didn't do much this morning because I had the blahs. But this
afternoon, I synthesized pure radium from the radium chloride. I had a
feeling that might be possible because it's in the name, radium
chloride. And my hunch paid off. I also made polonium, which is a
whole different element, with a different name. Weird.
April 22, 1902
Wow. Just -- wow. Radium is very pretty. It's like a tiny blue star
faintly twinkling in the palm of my hand. I think it might be one of
the most beautiful elements on Earth. It's certainly one of the most
delicious.
April 23, 1902
I cannot believe how much better my pierogis taste with a bit of
radium! Maybe it's not "authentic" but I don't care. They were a huge
hit at the potluck and all night I was showered with compliments and
recipe requests. But if I tell them my secret ingredient, you just know everyone will be refining pitchblende in their own kitchens.
April 24, 1902
omg! i had a hunch that radium would give me energy and boy was i
right! i just had to crush it up and snort it with a pipette and
suddenly i was just flying around the house! i had no idea the fan
blades were so dusty but not anymore! i also decided i don't like
capital letters and i am never using them AGAIN ok that one time but
that's it
April 25, 1902
Pierre staged an intervention today.
He thinks radium may be addictive.
He says I should stop snorting it.
Fuck him.
April 26, 1902
Oh, Pierre, you were right! It's so hard giving up nasal radium!
Thank God I can wean myself from it slowly with these harmless radium
patches.
April 27, 1902
Today the sun was very bright. I held up my hand to shield my eyes, but I could see through it.
April 28, 1902
Ever have one of those days where you just sat and watched a peanut pass through your upper intestine?
April 19, 1902
Uh-oh. It looks like I went backward in time. I wonder how that
happened. You know what? I'm going to have a chat with myself. I'll
give myself a good talking-to, ha ha!
April 20, 1902
In retrospect, I should not have popped out of that closet. It wasn't
funny. After I calmed myself down, I told myself to maybe lay off the
radium. I mean, discovering it was a good idea, but I think as a
spice, it tends to overwhelm the other flavors. Boring as it sounds,
maybe I should only investigate it from a scientific perspective.
Well, that's enough messing with the past. I find it wearying.
May 22, 2007
Now this is more like it! Now I'm in the future, and it's surprisingly
comfortable. I enjoy these Bluetooth devices as well as these Swiss
Cake Rolls. Well, I've got to go. I wonder where a gal can find a nice stiff Long Island
Iced Radium around here?
The April 28th entry had me in stitches.
I do declare, Madam Curie, you're the cat's pajamas.
Posted by: Hunter | Tuesday, 22 May 2007 at 09:42 PM
Thanks! Fun fact: that portrait (from some collection at Yale) is highly stylized. In real life, Marie Curie did not look so much like Brian Posehn.
Posted by: ¡Jeremy! | Wednesday, 23 May 2007 at 02:56 PM
that was awsome man do another
Posted by: Rodney Thomas II | Friday, 11 July 2008 at 09:00 PM