The Darjeeling Limited, 6/8

Finally saw The Darjeeling Limited.  It was OK.  One really funny bit, one really sad bit, and the best character by far was Jack, the youngest brother.   He's sexpertly played by the suave Jason Schwartzman, seducing sexy ladies with his sexy style.  Anyway, it's just like every other Wes Anderson movie, and I can sum it up in about five words: Meticulously quirky symbolic family pathos.  If I had three bonus words, they'd be "slow motion photography."

Or, "Natalie Portman's ass."  Everyone knows about that already.  Disappointing.  I'm not much of a Natalie Portman fan, but I went in there with an open mind, and honestly, her ass just didn't grab me.  It's sad, really.  Imagine having your ass described as "underwhelming."

Schwartzman co-wrote the script, which may explain why he's the one who unveils Natalie Portman's ass and spends the rest of the movie bringing sexy back and not bothering to wear shoes.  Hopefully he's not responsible for Darjeeling's chronic case of Important Symbolism.  Wes Anderson movies all do it, but this one's the worst yet.  Every other scene is stuffed with very, very meaningful symbols, highlighted by songs whose lyrics directly relate to the scene, plus the whole damn thing's in slow motion.  I was able to predict the entire damn ending of the movie based on the blatant symbolism of the first few scenes.  I guess I shouldn't "ruin" it, so I'll make up something equally obvious and punny.  In the first scene, three kittens watch their dad get hit by a fish delivery truck and inherit his favorite ball of yarn.  At the end, the kittens wrestle a shark and lose because the yarn has gotten all tangly and their dad never taught them how to use scissors.  In slow-mo, of course, and as for the soundtrack, you know that old song about how the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon?  Something less subtle.

Granted, I had plenty of time to work out the details thanks to the fact that the movie takes twenty minutes wondering how to end.  It can't decide which obvious gesture would really get the message across, because guess what?  You can only dumb something down so much.  I can't "get it" any more.  There's actually a joke about how the oldest brother keeps searching for meaning in everything.  That's not clever, it's just annoying.  Oh, and the running gag about how the youngest brother writes stories based on his life, but insists that the characters are all fictional.  This is in case you did not get the joke with the oldest brother.  There is a series of symbolic safety nets to make sure you understand this terribly difficult movie. 

Also, the safety nets are equipped with training wheels, and encased in bubble wrap.  My excessive explanation is intended to satirize The Darjeeling Limited's excessive symbolism, and this bit of explanation satirizes the wink-and-nod tone that purportedly excuses such authorial indulgence.

See how that's annoying?  Do you get it?  Do I need to do it more?

Anyway, it's a decent movie despite itself, and it was better than Fred Claus, which I didn't see, but I'm sure that's true.  I give it 6 out of 8 stars and refuse to reduce that fraction to its lowest terms.  Work it out yourself.

Technorati Tags: The Darjeeling Limited, Jason Schwartzman, Natalie Portman, booty letdown, symbolism, fractions, brothers, kittens

Comments

Oh, you did not just use any form of the word "sexpert." That is my second least favorite word in the entire English language.

P.S. You can't bring sexy back without a receipt.

[¡Jeremy!]

What's the first one?

Why, "guesstimate," of course.

[Heather]

That was me, in case you couldn't tell who was doing the disparaging.

[¡Jeremy!]

Actually, I knew that. I don't know what my least favorite word is, but I hate "more like," as in, "The Glass Menagerie? More like, The Ass Menagerie." Often followed by "am I right?"

[Heather]

"Am I right?" doesn't bother me half as much as "I know, right?" which makes me want to rip my own ears off. If you know, then why are you asking me for confirmation?

[Casey]

Sexcellent!

[Casey]

Am I right?

[¡Jeremy!]

I am unable to determine if you are, in fact, right. It may be necessary to solicit a sexpert opinion.