Friends, we shall create a perfect society, far from the corrupting influence of civilization, yet close to parking. It will be a new utopia, and like every utopia it will fail, due to hubris or global warming or something. But this is not the end! For you see, from the wreckage of our utopia, we shall fashion a new, neo-utopian world. Our success will be assured, because everything our previous utopia did, we will do the opposite, no matter how immoral or gross. And the citizens of this perfect re-new-topia (still working on name) will be the cream of the crop, the very few essential people of any society. Right now, we have openings for:
- Entrepreneurs
- Racecar drivers
- Artists
- Art lovers who can also fix racecars
- Simple Everyday Philosophers (no professors, no grad students please)
- Lobsters
- One (1) serial killer (secret)
- Gilders
- Bowtie adjusters
- Dressage judges
- Tom Wolfe
- Cats who use toilets
- World class drama queens
- Hyper-intelligent wolves, with guns, to do all manual labor, without supervision
- Classy dames
- Williams and/or Sonoma
Please apply in person, by the docks, at midnight. Just to be clear, this is not the first, doomed utopia. This is for the utopia that can never go wrong. Also, we have an opening for one (1) atom bomb technician. Feel free to apply even if you’re not that good at tending to atom bombs. You won’t be tending it for long.
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