The Russian sci-fi epic explodaganza Day Watch is the middle part of a trilogy that began with Night Watch and will conclude, maybe, with a movie called, maybe, Dusk Watch. (It's all very complicated, so let these folks explain it and tell them thanks for the images I stole from their site.) In the Watch mythology, Good and Evil gave up fighting years ago and created a truce which allows each human to choose, without interference, which way to flip. Some folks, known as the Others, have special powers, and when they choose a side they join up with the Night Watch (good) or the Day Watch (evil). Sounds backwards, right? Well, the Night Watch "watches" the Day Watch, and vice versa. There, now it makes as much sense as it ever will.
Day Watch throws a lot of complicated mythology at you and if you haven't seen Night Watch it won't make a lick of sense. Even if you have, it makes two, maybe three licks, tops. One nice thing is that Day Watch actually explains a few of the things that were glossed over in Night Watch, as well as bringing back every character from the first movie. Really, every single character, even (mostly) inanimate objects. I normally find that excessive but here it helped me keep track of how all these goddamn things tied the hell together. By the end, they tied together, well, let's just say very tightly.
I liked Night Watch with some reservations and I liked Day Watch much more. It's funnier, for example. Dispensing with the complicated mythology means there's more time for character-based comedy. From the very first scene to the goofy credit sequence, the movie regularly reminds you that although the fate of the world hangs in the balance, the fate of the world always hangs in the balance, and we're not dead yet. It's a bit like Men in Black. The two main plot devices are a magic piece of chalk and an evil yo-yo. I am not kidding at all. The Watch trilogy has been called Russia's answer to the Matrix trilogy, because it's full of crazy stunts, loud music, and CGI destruction. But I believe it is superior to the Matrices, because although I didn't see Reloaded or Revolutions, I bet they had, at the most, a marginally evil yo-yo. Day Watch has the most evil fucking yo-yo I've ever seen going all Tommy Smothers on downtown Moscow.
Unlike the first film, Day Watch gives screen time to the forces of evil, who are more entertaining, and not all that evil. The good guys have the coolest wheels (a beat-up municipal truck) and the hottest hottie (Olga, played by Galina Tyunina -- I wasn't crazy about Alisa, but decide for yourself) but the evil guys have better clothes and dance moves. Also, the good guys are at least as evil as the evil guys. They're a bunch of sanctimonious, manipulative assholes. The evil guys aren't sanctimonious. The Watch series depicts Light and Dark Others as bureaucrats and ogliarchs, respectively, each side constantly bending the rules of a corrupt system. If you had to choose, wouldn't you party with the ogliarchs, too?
I saw the subtitled theater version, and as someone who speaks Russian at the level of a child or a dog (a sneaky, Bulgakov type dog), I thought the translation was sort of off but nothing important was missing. Some of the jokes didn't make sense in English, but you can still tell they're jokes. I don't know how you would translate "yolki palki" -- imagine if it were OK for a little kid to say, "Fuck me!" in surprise. Just barely shocking, but mostly cute. But the subtitles read, "Eh, do as you want," or something equally unfunny. It's as if they translated that line from Snakes on a Plane as, "I have serious concerns about the total serpentine content of my aircraft."
However, these are no ordinary subtitles! They show up all over the screen, in different colors, with pretty fade and dissolve effects, all contextually based. The word "blood" will be red, and drip off the screen, whereas "mint" is green, and "snow" gets blown away as if by wind. As someone drums and sings aloud, the words bounce to the rhythm. It sounds gimmicky but after a few minutes I started viewing the subtitles as an integrated part of the images on the screen, as opposed to a distraction. my favorite example is when an unseen force starts whispering things that aren't really speech, like the jungle on Lost, so the subtitles flash a bunch of nonsense words rapidly across the screen. It's very cool, but I can't really explain the full effect, even if I worgy huplar glumaphs rinklor moo -- yeah, that doesn't work.
If it's playing in your area, and it won't be for long, I highly recommend Day Watch, and I'm not just saying that because Vladimir Putin can kill anyone he likes at any time. You should have a high tolerance for loud music, fast action, and magic chalk, and renting Night Watch beforehand couldn't hurt. But that's all you'll need to experience and even enjoy this movie. Actually, you'll need some way to pay the theater people, too. They should take cash or a credit card. And find a ride to the theater, unless it's within walking distance. Also, wear clothes. (Banditos readers -- I included these last few suggestions in case this review gets reprinted in Ain't It Cool News. Ignore this.) Again, the movie is Day Watch, so sit down and watch it, and if something on the screen is scary or makes you feel funny, use your inside voice.
